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AHH! help :( I dont know what to do!?





Im writing a essay that basically decides my future. im usually a really good writer but this essay has me soo nervous.I need help. I'm stuck. I have writers block. :( Could you please tell me where I should go with this essay, what I should include... Or if you have very powerful, persuasive ideas pleaseeeeeee let me know!I will be sooo thankful you have NO idea!here is my essay so far: Everyone has been in uncomfortable situations and I think that Dental Assistants can make all the difference in a visit. One experience I had at the dentist was when I was getting my tooth filled for the first time. I was nervous and worried (like most people) and had no idea what to expect. It turned out not to be as bad as I had expected because of one person; the Dental Assistant. She immediately made me feel at ease; she was very friendly, she asked me questions and told me about herself to take my mind off the procedure that was about to happen. I was able to ask her questions about it, and she continually put my mind at ease. This is what inspired me to become a Dental Assistant. I would love to be the person that makes a frightening experience, a good one. From my personal experiences at the dentist, I would be able to empathize completely with the patients. I think Dentistry is vital. Many people overlook the importance of a healthy mouth. They do not realize the probable outcome of neglected teeth. I would enjoy educating them on disease prevention, and informing them about proper cleaning. I have always dreamed of working in a health profession. I find great satisfaction in helping people, it is very rewarding. Dental Assisting is becoming more in demand. It seems like an exciting career with advancement opportunities. I thrive when I am challenged and working under pressure only motivates me more. I am excellent at multi-tasking. My friends would tell you that I am a very warm, outgoing person. I have always been able to make people feel welcomed around me and I think that is very important in being a Dental Assistant. I am positive that I could make their experience at the Dentist Office a great one. Not only am I excellent at working with patients, but I work well with colleagues in a team. I have noticed that there is a great atmosphere within dental offices and I would love to be a part of that. My parents did not attend college and did not get very steady jobs. Which caused us to move around a lot. I want to create a more stable childhood for my family and dental assisting would be perfect for that. Furthering my education is very important to me. I would love to advance in the dentistry field one step at a time.It needs to have about 300 more words.random info for you to work with:im very determined. I want this really bad! I'm creative. I'm patient. I'm motivated. With my old jobs I was always the one they called into work if anyone was absent.They gave me a lot of responisbility.I want to advance in this career.I want to make a difference in peoples lives.I want to promote good health..



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2 Responses so far.

  1. vina says:

    i didnt read it so i cant help sorry

  2. nonrejoinder says:

    You need to work on your opening. You must discuss the dental office in your first statement. How about something like, “Everyone feels uncomfortable when they come to a dental office, but I think the Dental Assistants can make all the difference in a visit.”Paragraph 1 is excellent other than the topic sentence.Paragraph 2 isn’t bad. It kind of hangs together.Paragraph 3 you may want to reorganize this paragraph. Remember, everything in the paragraph has to relate to the thesis sentence. Here you thesis is: ” Dental Assisting is becoming more in demand.” The next couple of sentences seem to hang, but then you talk about multi-tasking and then you start a new paragraph, though you don’t really. You say “My friends would tell you that I am a very warm, outgoing person.” That has nothing to do with the fact that DA is in high demand. This should be the start of its own paragraph.You don’t quite have paragraph structure in your mind. My suggestion is that you go to this site and click on “Paragraph Structure Graphic Organizers” and print some out. Use these to organize these paragraphs. Tight organization is in and of itself very impressive. After you use these for awhile, you will no longer have to use them because it will become unconscious. You don’t have to subscribe to this site to get the organizer.Separate paragraph 4 into two separate paragraphs. One you will use with this: “:Not only am I excellent at working with patients, but I work well with colleagues in a team.” As above! This paragraph can follow that one.”I have noticed that there is a great atmosphere within dental offices and I would love to be a part of that.” 3 detail sentences please.Here is another paragraph “My parents did not attend college and did not get very steady jobs, which caused us to move around a lot. ” use three detail sentences that relate to that idea.Here is another paragraph which needs three detail sentences: “Furthering my education is very important to me.” See how this works?Already you have more words.OK how about a paragraph on your dependability. Give the example of being the one called in if someone was absent. Please write your topic sentence and then write three details related to the topic sentence.Your next paragraph can expand from that one and discuss your sense of responsibility. Do as I told you above, OK?You can write a paragraph about wanting to promote good health. You could use some of your previous discussion of oral hygiene in the paragraph. 3 details.How about a concluding discussion of how motivated you are. Reiterate some of what you bring to the job, synthesize the reason you want it and thank them for considering your application.By the way, you can have more than three details in a paragraph. It just is that you must have at least three.When you are finished, make a copy of your essay on a new word document. Separate each paragraph by around three lines of blank space because you are going to cut out each paragraph. Print them out and cut them apart. Go to the kitchen table and spread out your paragrpahs. Put a number 1 on one and “Last” on your conclusion. Take each paragraph and organize it so it seems to follow logically. When you have a lot of paragraphs, this will help with organization. Number them when you are done arranging them and then use cut and paste to get your essay in order. And there you have it, another country heard from.