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College essay please help! Does this sentence make sense?





im writing a story about my first day at college and i want to know if this sentence makes sense..."It appears to be obvious, that we are all freshmen by the context of our talk"im trying to say something like this " it is obvious that everyone here is a freshmen by what we are talking about" but in a more smart way.



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3 Responses so far.

  1. damnatory says:

    The words before the comma (which shouldn’t be there, btw), sound awkward. Word it differently.”we are all” sounds awkward, should probably say “we were all freshman”context? should probably change it to contents. contents mean what’s inside the talk, context means the situation around the talk. sort of like the contents of your talk would be what your teachers/classes would be like, but placing the talk into context would be that you were heading to your first class.and you should say “i’m trying to talk in a smarter way” not a more smart way

  2. stanici says:

    ‘Appears’ refers to an ‘apparent’ feel, while, ‘obvious’ is you know, ‘obvious’.Something is clumsy in this clause, though it’s not exactly an oxymoron.In India, we are taught not to use words that be jarring to the listener. Try simplifying.The second clause seems all-right.The comma too too should not be there.Speak aloud the sentence, and give pause where the comma is; then take out the pause, you’ll get the clumsiness.

  3. premeditatedness says:

    Keep it simple. “We’re obviously all freshmen…….”