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Help with my thesus statement?





for the last few essays i've done, my teacher told me my thesus statements have been vague. i'm writing another one and was wondering if there is anything i can do to perfect it. here it goes.(P.S. the topic was to choose a character who found identity through a journey and write about what they gained.)First of all, the book is called Between the Stillness and the Grove. in my intro i'll have some background information, talk about the battle in Armenia (setting), Vecihe and Tomas' death, and some books that formed her (She read books abou a man and started imagining people around her.)THESUS:Through her strives and her struggles, Dzovig begins to comprehend the difference between reality, Tomas’ death, and fantasy, the imaginations she implicates into identities. Through these both, she gains a greater understanding of who she is, and because of her experiences in Moscow develops the will to not care what others thought.(3 paragraph examples: 1) Soliciting after Tomas' (boyfriend) death. 2) Leaving Armenia for Moscow; running from family and freinds. 3) The books she read that created the imatingations (Pessoa, author)my teacher is a very hard marker, and soooo i hope you can try to help.



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One Response so far.

  1. overweighs says:

    First of all, it’s called a “thesis” statement.What does the essay question ask?I believe you should condense it into: “Through her strives and struggles, Dzovig begins to comprehend *insert question here*, and this is shown by three key events: 1) Soliciting after Tomas’ (boyfriend) death. 2) Leaving Armenia for Moscow; running from family and freinds. 3) The books she read that created the imatingations (Pessoa, author).More straight-forward and concise. I think that’s what you’re asking.