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And here is da second part….plz help….?

heres the second part of the essay...plz help...suggestions will be taken into consideration...corrections....thanksIf fast food chains were to be banned, people still have the option of buying junk and fatty foods from supermarkets, school and workplace canteens, milk bars, vending machines, restaurants, convenient stores and many other places. Alternatively, they could just buy the ingredients needed for the recipe and make a fatty cheeseburger and chips at home. So banning fast food chains has no affect on obesity levels because people can still add a lot of oils and sugars to their foods at home. Especially homes with children, if the parents are not careful with what they feed their children, the children may be put at risk of developing obesity at a later stage in life. A child’s food decisions are highly influenced by what they see on television, in their homes, at school, in the media and by what they see as good food. Therefore, when the children are not around their parents or are at a place like school, they would be able to buy junk foods from the canteen. This is why it is so important for children to be educated about unhealthy foods and healthy foods at an early age to help them develop good eating habits. Consequently, people may already addicted to fast food and it may be difficult for them to avoid these foods, so they buy these foods at other stores that are not banned.Prohibiting fast foods and fast food chains could increase the cravings of consumers who have already been addicted. People who try to quit smoking find it hard to give up the addictive substance, nicotine, so they just keep smoking because they are forcing themselves into thinking that they cannot have a smoke, which makes them want to smoke even more. Similarly, banning fast food chains will not stop people from buying or making these foods, they will find substitutes and consume them instead. In other words, if they cannot get their junk foods from a chain such as McDonalds, they will find another meal or pre-pared meal filled with oils, fats, preservatives and chemicals. Overall, if fast food chains are to be banned, it would just make consumers want it even more and there would be no differences because consumers will be continually trying to substitute in other fatty foods.However, if fast food chains were to be banned, people would not have the chance to see advertisements or fast food restaurants, so they would not want it as much. In addition, people would learn not to eat fast food because it is not available to them and they would need to buy or cook their own food. This would be a healthier option because most fast foods contain high levels of sugar, fat, salt and preservatives, whereas home cooked meals would contain less sugars and fats and more nutrients and vitamins. For example, if you compare a Big Mac with homemade stir-fry, you can instantly see the difference. A Big Mac has two meat patties, mayonnaise, cheese and a couple of pieces of lettuce, but a stir-fry has a variety of vegetables, some meat and maybe some rice. Eventually, fast food will phase out and people will just learn to choose healthier options, but it may not be that easy or simple, it all starts with a good education on healthy and unhealthy foods.To sum up, banning fast food chains will not necessarily reduce the obesity levels. There are other factors that contribute to obesity, such as the advancement of technology and little vigorous physical activity. There is not point enforcing a fast food ban when there are still supermarkets and milk bars that sell junk food, it is not as if the government can ban all stores of selling junk food, it would be too difficult, time consuming and money wasting. The money could go to more worthy causes such as education on this topic. Obesity levels probably will not change because people would still want their fatty foods and will try to substitute it with other junk foods. I believe that a ban on fast food chains such as McDonalds and KFC will not work, at the end of the day, it is the consumers’ choice to eat these types of foods.

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One Response so far.

  1. oryctognosy says:

    (Spell check it, remember MSword doesnt catch everything)Like I said, redundancy. You repeat a lot of what you already said.And your conculsion “To sum up” is too informal. You keep saying “physical activity…physical…physical…”its driving me nuts, lol, not being mean.But trust me, I always work with my teacher to correct my essays and even I always repeat stuff and he says that when he sees that a lot, and my paper is one of the lasts, he doesnt even bother making corrections. you just loose points,thats all.So watch out for that.Also.Do this.For each paragraph, write out the main points you have written. Not the ones you “meant” to say.cause you’ll notice, its not in order.You jump around.You have good arguments but they jump around.In your conclusions “there is not point..”sounds like your talking to your friend.Try “It would not be wise”its like, act as if your the president and your giving a speech.You have to be formal!Oh well, i tried to help.but overall, good essayhope you get an AP.S excuse my errors, its late and i dont feel like going back and modiying