Home » Uncategorized » Help with college essay please… editing or any additions!?

Help with college essay please… editing or any additions!?

I am applying to Bridgedwater State College and my essay is a little rough... I'm just not sure how to put what i want to say but here it is... I am looking for editing and tell me anything that you think could make it better. This is very appreciated thank you so much in advance.Essay topic: discuss your academic interest and career goals and describe your view of how Bridgewater State College can facilitate your success. (in 32,000 characters) The most significant thing in my life at this moment is my future. The next big step in my future is college. Mixed emotions come along when thinking about college, happiness for freedom, sadness for loss of friends and home, but excitement to start life on my own and work towards my future. Becoming a movie star seems like a great way to live and an easy way to get out of hard work, but it simply is not reality. People in this world work hard for their money to take care of themselves and their families and for that they feel and are successful. Success is another part of my life that I care very genuinely for. Although being successful foes not indicate graduating from college and receiving a high salary job, success can come in many different ways. I ultimately want to go to college to become successful and proved for my family one day. Starting off college with an undecided major is nerve-racking in some ways. Bridgewater State College has a variety of majors to choose from and I am very confident that this will help me find what I desire to do in life. Bridgewater is located in a comfortable environment and not too far away from home. I have only heard great things from the people I know who have attended or are currently attending. All of theses reasons are why I would love to attend Bridgewater State and how it could make my future a success.

Similar Asks:

  • Can someone check my essay? - ((being a successful student)) the topic”Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any other” says Abraham Lincoln. Success is the key to everything in student’s life. It is in the hands of every student but they must work hard to find out what makes a student successful. Being
  • Please take a moment and read :)? - Can you please check my essay and tell me what to fix. it is for a program called SEO scholars … thank you ) My name is Jenifer Ortega and I am thirteen years old, born in 1998. As you can see I am quite young to be in the 9th grade
  • How’s my Admission Essay? - The prompt is “WHy I chose UMW, and Why I chose to get a college education”Quality of education, atmosphere, and community are just some aspects of what makes an excellent college. I believe the University of Mary Washington contains these key aspects. The reason why I want to obtain a college education is because I
  • Personal statement help for National Honors Society? - I wrote this essay for National Honors Society. Please comment on the structure, grammer, and content.It is an amazing honor to be nominated for the National Honor Society. It gives me the motivation to excel and achieve the high expectations that I have set for myself in my life. I feel like that I have
  • Does this Essay sound ok, what would make it better? - When it comes to the happiness of children who are in foster care special precautions need to be taken. Special needs children are the older children in foster care that the Family Service workers feel will be hard to place in a home permanently. When children are placed into foster care they go through a
  • Can someone revise my essay please? its less than 500 words.? - How do I feel being Korean? There are many Korean immigrants who moved here in United States today from Korea. I am only one of them out of millions who live in United States. I moved here when I was really young. As being a child, I had no idea what’s it like to live
  • Would you proof read my essay for a college scholarship? - “Why I am a worthy candidate to receive a scholarship and how it will help me achieve my goals” Why am I a worthy candidate to receive a scholarship? When a grown man of 33 years of age looks in to the future what does he see? Many beautiful houses, kids laughing as they ride

One Response so far.

  1. godlings says:

    Do you have English tutors at your high school (peer tutors?) or maybe an English teacher who can help you edit this? It does need work…I’m an English tutor and can try to edit it here, but some of my explanations are lengthy. A couple things:-watch for appropriate punctuation (like after “thinking about college” in the first para. you need a colon, since you begin listing things after that)-watch your spelling and word choice and syntax. a helpful thing to do is to read the essay OUT LOUD (that’s very important) because hearing it out loud can help you catch things that the computer doesn’t pick up on. -work on your last conclusion sentence–it’s a little too MCAS and formulaic. Get creative!If you want to hear more, you can email me at [email not allowed]