Home » Uncategorized » Please fix my essay! tell me where i can fix it, this is all i have so far..?

Please fix my essay! tell me where i can fix it, this is all i have so far..?





All i really need is advice on how to put it all together, when i read it outloud it doesnt make much sense to me..The Internet, a friend, or foe? The internet has had an enormous impact on the daily lives of people worldwide. It is the greatest masterpiece of modern culture and is the answer to virtually endless information. It has changed the way that we communicate, learn, and play. The internet has allowed billions of people to send and receive information in minutes through the use of E-mail, rather than days or weeks through the postal service. The internet provides people with endless knowledge, and comfort, no matter where they are through the use of search engines such as Google. The internet also entertains people with things such as online gaming and video archives, thus saving many people hundreds of thousands of dollars annually. This is simply because many things can now be downloaded with the touch of a button, and in virtually no time at all. There are many more benefits than those that are mentioned, but as with all things in this world, nothing is without its critics. The internet is very good. The only harm comes from those who do not use it properly, or who do not know how to evade people with malicious intentions, thus falling into their trap. The internet is a great source of information, with virtually limitless boundaries. As the days go by, the internet is in a constant expansion, much like the universe itself, as more and more information becomes available. The more time you spend on the internet, viewing educational and entertaining websites, the more liable you are to increase your overall intelligence, much like reading a book. "The Internet is the world's largest library. It's just that all the books are on the floor. " ~ John Allen Paulos



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2 Responses so far.

  1. withholders says:

    Why don’t you make your title: The Internet, friend or foe?Start your paragraph with the Internet has had an enormous impact. You don’t need to change anything I think this great, and very informative.

  2. call'em says:

    It’s not a bad essay. Are you trying to state the con side too? (obesity, not accurate info etc) You should spend half on con’s, and half on pro’s. Look into the cons a bit more, and make your essay seem less biased. I also don’t like when ppl start a sentence with “It”. I like your ending though. In some spots, you could add commas etc.It’s pretty good though :)