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Can you please grade my SAT essay? less than 12 hours till test?

Prompt:Are people's lives the result of the choices they make?Can you please grade my essay out of 12 and tell me what I should change? How can I improve my writing with only 2 days left? Keep in mind this is only a rough draft and it was written within a 25 minute time limit.Quote:The course of one's life directly correlates with the choices made, whether they be positive or negative. Regardless of circumstance, both sound and counteractive decisions contribute to the final outcome. For this reason, it would be illogical to claim that life is predetermined by fate, as the path of one's life is the summation of all causative choices. Several examples derived from history and literature explicitly demonstrate this point.Negative choices and their corresponding effects manifest themselves in Nathaniel Hawthorn's novel "the Scarlet Letter". One poor choice made between Hester Prynne and Dimmesdale spiraled into a lifetime of secrecy and being shunned from society. According to Puritan beliefs, sexual escapades such as the adulterous affair between Pyrnne and Dimmesdale conflicted with the stringent morality promoted by the church. Pyrnne and Dimmesdales' extramarital affair resulted in a child out of wedlock. Upon discovery of the bastard child, the Puritan society imposed a punishment which shamed Hester and her young child. Facing ostracization from the community, the pair was forced into seclusion on the outskirts of the settlement. All for an ephemeral moment of pleasure, the future outcome of Hester and her daughter's life was set in stone. Thus, one poor choice was the predecessor for a life of shame and misery.An example from history, which illustrates how sound choices produce beneficial results, is the civil rights movements by African Americans during the pivotal times in the 1960's. Who would have thought that something as mundane as refusing to relinquish one's bus seat would produce such miraculous results? For Rosa Parks, her vigilance and stubbornness served as the catalyst that sparked the civil rights movement. The pivotal day in 1955 on the Montgomery Public Bus where Rosa Parks refused to give up her seat to a white man reflects one of the first publicized attempts of African Americans fighting for their own rights. Her choice to "sit down" for her civil rights initiated a national controversy which eventually proved to be beneficial. Because of her choice to protest against the establishment, Parks was one of the forefront leaders in the Montgomery Civil Rights movement.For better or worst, an individual's decisions influence the path of life. In both examples presented, one choice had the potential to profoundly impacted the outcome of person's life. Nevertheless, it remains important to remain vigilant in sticking to one's true beliefs. Consequently, one should examine all possible results of a choice and use this information to base their decision on the one which provides the best past in life

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One Response so far.

  1. ructions says:

    The last paragraph has many errors and should be rewritten.