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What do you think of my UNC essay?

2. It's easy to identify with the hero--the literary or historical figure who saves the day. Have you ever identified with a figure who wasn't a hero--a villain or a scapegoat, a bench-warmer or a bit player? If so, tell us why this figure appealed to you--and if your opinion changed over time, tell us about that, too.As we grow we easily find heroes, villains, and other characters in our entertainment media that we relate to. Unlike like other people, I have trouble even relating to a superhero. Sometimes I feel so different than literary characters that I find it disheartening. In my entire life I have only found ONE side character I relate to and he’s exactly like me. He is from a popular manga/anime (Japanese comics/cartoons) called Bleach. His name is Uryū Ishida.In the anime bleach there are 3 main sides; the hollows (the bad guys), the Shinigamis or Death gods (the good guys), and humans. Uryū, however, is neither. Instead he is a Quincy, a human with special powers. Not only is he very intelligent, like me, he is one of the last two of his clan. This makes him very unique and mysterious, another two characteristics of mine. Uryū is seen as the awkward nerdy type. He is usually seen as shy and withdrawn but he tries to act cool when surrounded by others. He also comes off very chivalrous many times throughout the series.Almost every characteristic of Uryū’s coincides with a part of me; His nerdy intelligence, his shyness, his uniqueness, etc. What would more appeal to a person than a copy of himself made popular in a TV show? As the series continues Uryū continues to show more and more characteristic that are similar to mine. He will forever be the main side character I relate to.

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2 Responses so far.

  1. buxaceous says:

    well i didn’t read it all but get rid of the number 3 change it to three and get rid of the parenthesis if possible because they belong in math class not essays for the most part. And i’m not sure what these characters are and an admissions person might have no clue either so keep that in mind don’t be talking about a comic book or cartoon unless it’s appropriate because it may seem juvenile

  2. ocelots says:

    What is the required length for the essay. Is this an admissions essay? Or just a regular essay for an english classOn a first read it’s very bland. He is, His,. All your sentence structures are not varied.nerdy intelligence is pretty redundant”Sometimes I feel so different than literary characters that I find it disheartening”Revise that sentencewhy is “ONE” uppercased?the Sentence structure could use some more spice and variety. “mysterious” Questions aren’t good for essays?I don’t know the length but it reads okay. It could be better written with more variety.If this is an admissions essay than I would revise it to represent characteristics more than just unique and mysterious b/c it leaves the admissions person with more questions than answers.